Picture it: a train carrying three European bigwigs with a lot on their minds; sippin’ tiny espressos, talkin’ ceasefires, and…oh, no! Is that a bag of blow on the table? The papers (who love nothing more than to “speak truth to power,” don’tcha know?) have been quick to point out that nothing has been confirmed. While that’s true, the last time we’ve seen men looking this guilty, they were leaving a Diddy party.
“Fake News” Strikes Again!
Whatever the truth about that suspiciously-plastic-looking “tissue” may be, one thing is certain: had the alleged culprits not been three of the most powerful people in Europe, it’s doubtful that they’d have a cavalry of journalists riding in on their (snow) white horses to save the day. No, comrades, having your reputation smeared is not okay — unless you’re exposing government coverups or seeking information about years’-long ‘grooming’ scandals. In that case, the journalists will be publishing the fake news, not vanquishing it.
Just Say “NO!”
Maybe all those pesky Russian Assets are overreacting again. After all, it’s not as if the French, German, and English governments have been cracking down on cocaine, lately. Oh, my bad. They have, but those laws only seem to apply to the hoi polloi. If you’re a Starmer, Macron, or Merz, you’ve nothing to worry about.
Still, no governments are perfect. As long as they’re not threatening people with jail time for saucy memes or unpopular speech, Europe’s leaders are doing an awesome job. All of the hullabaloo over this silly story is just taking their attention away from what’s really important: rescuing Europe from ninja-sword-related villainy.
Liberty Dispatches 
Join the discussion!